Richard Mansfield, First Place Winner:
"Some are calling me 'Oscar Contest Royalty,' but that's too much!
"True, I've won first place far more often than anyone else, won four times in the past three years (last year I tied with my own personal self for first place), and set many other unbeatable records. This year I earned the highest score ever, with 125 points.
"To those of you who do not read, attend the theater, or know anything of the world in which you live--it is perhaps necessary to introduce myself. My name is Richard Mansfield. My native habitat is the theatre.
"In good conscience, I must give credit where credit is due, to those who have helped me the most--Addison, Karen, Margo, Bill, and Lloyd. This is the happiest night of my life! And I say that in a helpful, caring way."
Leslie Mizell, Second Place and Booby Prize Winner:
"I'd like to thank the little people as well as the orcs, and anyone Renee Zellweger forgot."